If you frequently lose your cool in conflict, it might not be entirely your fault. There are certain genetic or biological traits that can actually make us more prone to anger, says clinical psychologist Daniel Glazer.

Some studies suggest variations in our serotonin systems might have an effect, too. Findings from the University of Cambridge suggest that when our serotonin levels are low, it may be more difficult for the brain’s prefrontal cortex to control the emotional responses to anger that are generated in the amygdala.

But in Glazer’s experience, it tends to be our life experiences that dictate how quickly we get mad. If you had poor role models for emotional regulation growing up, that can have a lasting impact. But it doesn’t mean you can’t make positive changes.
Recognise the Signs

You know the feeling: your heart beats faster, your muscle tense, your face grows hot and your breathing becomes quicker and shallower. This can all happen within seconds, as your levels of the hormones adrenaline and cortisol rise.

This physiological response evolved to prepare your ancestors for combat – although these days it’s as likely to be triggered by a passive-aggressive email from a colleague or a difficult conversation with a relative. ‘From a biological perspective, anger originates deep within the brain’s prehistoric limbic system, specifically the amygdala which serves as our primal threat detector,’ says Glazer.

It can help to take note of what’s happening in your body on a physiological level when those thoughts and feelings first arise.

Make a Strategic Retreat

In this heightened emotional state, it’s fairly normal to do or say things we later regret. That’s because the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which governs logic and higher reasoning, becomes impaired, says Glazer. ‘We become much more reactive, impulsive and emotionally dysregulated – struggling to see alternative perspectives or think through long-term consequences.’

Simply recognising this fact is a good first step. If you have the option to remove yourself from the situation and respond later, do that.
Know Where Your Line Is

Strong emotions don’t have to be self-destructive. A study by Texas A&M University found that, under the right circumstances, anger can increase the effort we put into attaining our goals.

In one experiment, participants who were shown visuals designed to elicit strong emotional responses performed better in subsequent tests involving puzzles and games. The researchers point out that ‘all emotions, good or bad’ are just responses to events within our environment and ‘serve the purpose of alerting that person to important situations that require actions’.

However, when anger becomes chronic it can hurt more than just those around you. Elevated cortisol over a long period of time can impair the part of the brain responsible for memory and emotional processing, says Glazer. It could also raises the risk of conditions like heart disease and diabetes.

Moving Forward

It’s a cliché, but when you first start to notice those physiological symptoms, taking a long, deep breath can make all the difference, says Glazer. It instantly engages the parasympathetic nervous system – the network that relaxes your body after stress – and creates a few seconds’ pause for you to think before you act.

In the long-term, regular exercise can help. In one Korean study, those who reported regular physical activity demonstrated improved anger control. Thrash metal playlist optional.

Source: https://www.menshealth.com/uk/mental-strength/a61927060/how-to-deal-with-anger/?utm_source=pocket_discover_self-improvement